How to Foster Independence in Your Preschooler

By Jena Schmidt

Contributor

The years your child is in preschool is a time of constant growth and development. I know that I see changes almost daily in my three-year old. It can be a struggle knowing how to help them develop into independent children while dealing with an emotional toddler. Here are some tips I have found useful in my work with young children professionally and in working with my own children at home. 

1. Don't do for them what they can do for themselves. This is HUGE! At school students are expected to clean up after themselves, put things away, get their own name tags, keep track of their belongings, and many more tasks. At home, give them opportunities to be independent. Can they get their own shoes and put them on? Can they put their own dish in the sink after a meal? Can they hang own their coat on the coat hook when you come inside? I look to the children for ideas of what they are ready to do. Children at this age like to do things for themselves, so let them. It will build their confidence and make your life easier!

2. Don't fix all of their "mistakes." Kids are proud of the things that they are able to do. True, when they make their bed, it still looks disheveled and when they put the books back on the bookshelf they are crooked, backwards, and out of order. Don't fix these "mistakes." Show your child that you are proud of their work and that their help is valued. Remember that all of this practice gives them chances to learn, grow, and build confidence. 

3. Start chores! To some, the preschool years may seem to young to start giving children chores. I think the opposite, that is a great time to start teaching independence and responsibility through age appropriate chores. Think about what they can do that would be helpful to your family. The chore should show the child that they are a contributing member of the family. Here are a few ideas of chores that are appropriate for a child's first chores:

* help to set the table

* feed the pets

* water household plants

* help to sort laundry

* pick-up toys 

* organize book shelves

* make their own bed

* fold wash cloths and dish towels

There are so many ways to help our children grow into independent people. Be patient and look to them for clues as to what they would like to start doing on their own. Happy parenting!